TIPS | DO OR DITCH? WEDIQUETTE EDITION

Weddings have no shortage or traditions and etiquette that dictates what you should and shouldn’t do on the big day. While researching best practices, we found that so many of the big wedding rules were antiquated. So, instead of maintaining the status quo, we decided to play a game of Do or Ditch! These are things that you can let go if they don’t match your style (it’s your wedding after all) or wedding day elements you shouldn’t cross off your list, no matter how badly you want to. Let’s dive in!

Ditch

• Expensive Stationary - Traditionally, weddings are filled with paper (invitations, STDs, menus, etc.), but they don’t have to be. If you’re looking for a more eco-friendly or affordable option, go digital!

• Ceremony Seating Arrangements - Say goodbye to separated sides on the ceremony for the different families.

• Cake - Not that into cake? Swap it for pie or an elaborate dessert display.

• Wedding Party - More and more low-key couples are opting out of traditional wedding parties. You can forego a formal wedding party and still have a few friends or family members get ready with you on your big wedding morning!

• Wedding Dress - Ditch the idea of a wedding dress if it’s not your style. Jumpsuits are all the rage this season.

Photo | Amy Karp Photography

Do

• Dinner - Feed your guests, but if you can’t let them know formally via your wedding invitations, so they know to grab a bite beforehand.

• Wedding Website - Create a wedding website! It can be as straightforward or as elaborate as you want

• Welcome - Do something special to welcome out of town guests.

• Alone Time - Carve some time out for just the two of you.

• Technology - Respect the couple’s tech requests. Unplugged means unplugged.

Ditch

• Name Changes - Changing your last name doesn’t have to be a requirement. Discuss it and ditch it if you want.

• Tosses - Garter and bouquet tosses single out your single friends and may be a little awkward in front of everyone (the whole under the wedding dress this can be a little 😬).

• Matching - Bridesmaids don’t have to match. There’s a wide range of bridal party look to choose from. Explore your options!

• Understated Grooms(men) - Mix it up, boys can get fancy too!

• Brides Family Responsibilities - Traditions of yesteryear say that the bride’s parents foot the wedding bill, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Do

• Vendor Meals - Feed your vendors. After working all day to create the perfect day, your staff gets hungry too!

• Dress Code - Follow the desired dress code, no matter what. Confused about what the dress code means? We can help!

• RSVPs - If you RSVP yes, then get your booty to the wedding.

• Gifts - Thank your wedding party with a little something-something. It doesn’t have too pricey and over the top, just something to thank them for all the support they’ve given you.

• Invites - Pay attention to your invitation. Never show up with a surprise plus ones or be a surprise guest. No invite (or a very clear plus one) means don’t show up.

Ditch

• White Dresses - White's a beautiful color, but if it doesn't make you *heart emoji*, then consider something out of the box! All black everything, perhaps?

• Asking for Permission - It's 2020, so unless specifically requested, don't feel pressure to ask the to-be bride's parent' s/dad's permission for her hand in marriage.

• Diamonds - There's a world of stones out there (different colors, cuts, and price ranges) shop around!

• Gendered Wedding Parties - Who says you can't have a Man of Honor or Best Woman?

• Being Given Away - Dads walking their daughters down the aisle is sweet, but if you aren't close and want another loved one to walk you down the aisle. Take the leap and go for the non-traditional. Or you can walk down the aisle solo.

What are we leaving in the past, and what are we bringing into 2020?

HOW TO | RSVP ETIQUETTE

Taylor + Collin | Photo by A Sea of Love

It's a detail that's small but, mighty in the grand scheme of confetti and "I do's." We're talking about wedding invitations -- or really any invitation to any celebration ever. 

Sure, the ink, hand lettering, and envelopes are important. But, the content is what matters most. So grab your best stamps and hold that pinky high. We're diving into the world of RSVP etiquette. 

1. Guest: Respond

RSVP, the abbreviation for the French phrase “respondez s’il vous plait,” means please respond. Responding in a timely manner allows the host to ensure that the appropriate amount of food, beverages, and seating arrangements are all in order. If you don't want to get stuck at the kid's table, or worse, left out of the final count then respond by the date indicated on the invitation. 

PHOTOGRAPHY | Matthew Moore

2. Host: Build in 'grace'

Let's face it, responding to an RSVP is one of those things we all mean to do but, just seem to always forget. Make sure to mail invites in enough time so that guests can make appropriate arrangements to attend and you (as the host) have enough time to prepare accordingly.

“The Rule: wedding invites should be mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding — that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. Check in on missing RSVPs about three weeks after invites are sent. ”

3. Avoid brining uninvited guests (or gifts)

PHOTOGRAPHY | Elizabeth Messinia

One of the most common wedding frustrations are unexpected/uninvited guests. Guests arriving unexpectedly could mean a shortage of seats, a super cramped dance floor, or (depending on capacity) a fine for the couple. The same can be said for gifts not on the registry. Unsure if you are allowed to bring a plus one? Ask! 

“The Rule: couples who are married, engaged, or living together must be invited together, even if you haven’t met your friend’s significant other. After that, it gets a little less clear-cut.”

4. Host: "We'd rather not have kids at our wedding." Thoughts?

Kids aren't for everyone and that's totally understandable. If you want a kid-free wedding consider addressing your invitations correctly -- to each guest by name, not “and guest." Also, think about adding in response lines for guests to write in their additional guests. If you notice a guest has responded with their child's name, reach out to them via phone or in person and calmly explain, "We have decided to host an adult-only wedding."  If there are a lot of kids in your family, you may want to consider hiring a babysitter. 

“The Rule: It’s your wedding! Have it your way. Let guests know that you’ve opted for an adult-only wedding using one of the tips above. ”

Remember: Good invitations excite guests, bringing in elements of the bash and all of its wonder. Great invitations, equally excite and inform guests about what is to come. They marvel at your creation, grow excitement for the big day and put down your invattion feeling knowledagble about what, how and where they need to be.